Whispering
by Lizsername
Summary: Squeal to That Day. Jimmy is still stuck with the mind of Johnny dead. Whatsername is overcoming it. Crystal and Adam, a new nurse, are trying to help Jimmy. But memories can't help. Song: From Spring Awakening


Whispering

**A/N: Before we start, after That Day, this might be a small, song fic series. You have to read That Day to get some of the stuff that's said in here. **

_**Whispering**_

_**Here the ghosts in the moonlight**_

I held his body closer to mine. He's gone, resting in peace, "My gosh…" I didn't even cry. I can't feel anything that's now mine. Is my heart beating? Can it stop?

_You promised me…_

_**Sorrow doing a new dance**_

_**Through their bone, through their skin**_

I got up to leave to the mental infirmary, keeping Johnny's promise. I turned, and the body was finally covered. I sauntered to the hallway, finding everyone crying. The body of his death is still on my mind. I'm silent, mute, forever.

_Oh, babe, it will be ok…_

_**Listening**_

_**To the souls in the fool's night**_

"Oh my, lord, he's gone!"

"I-I can't believe it."

Soft murmurs throughout the hallway; soft cries are heard louder. I finally grab Will.

"Can we please…?"

He nods softly, "I'm sorry, saint."

"Don't be…"

_**Fumbling mutely with their rude hands**_

I'm thrown back in my white room. If I cry over Johnny, I'm sliced open. They are finding treatment for me; to get the nightmares of the voice out my mind.

"We'll start with pills," Crystal mumbles. "Make sure he doesn't overdose, Adam."

_**And there's heartache without end**_

Brad left me after the day of Johnny's death. They brought in another one like him, Adam. He reminds me ever inch of Johnny. Dark brown hair, brown eyes… It's as if Johnny has taken him over.

I started whimpering and crying whenever he would look at me. Crystal would tell me to shut up. It wasn't my fault; I always will hate her.

_Try not to…for me. _

And how's hell for you?

Gosh, he's breaking me.

_**See the father bent in grief**_

_**The mother dressed in mourning**_

Johnny's funeral was coming. I went with Will and Whatsername. I stayed by her side; the poor girl was tearing up. "I can't believe he's gone," she mumbles.

I hold her closer, "It's alright, Amy." Her name…She only allows me to call her by it. I always though still call her Whatsername; sometimes Amy will spill by.

I noticed Johnny's mother and Brad, not my nurse but Johnny's step dad. The mother walked up to me, "You guys are..."

"Um," I said. "I'm Jimmy, Johnny's boyfriend, and this is Whatsername, Johnny's friend. We are from the city. We're sorry for the lost."

"Saint Jimmy, right?" I nodded and she hands me a notebook, "Johnny told me he wanted you to have this."

I looked quickly through once she left; Amy was over my shoulder.

_**Sister crumbles, and the neighbors grumble**_

We went up to corpse. He wore the same garments I saw the first day on him; Indian Jones t-shirt and plaid jacket. I smiled as it brought memories with tears tasting my eyes. Whatsername broke down in my arms. I grabbed her for a hug. "Oh my god," she mumbles. "My brother…" She loved Johnny now as a brother. After they broke up, they quickly made up. They treated each other as if they knew each other forever. I started joking that they were twins; they started using it. I was like their father until Johnny left, Whatsername became an alcoholic, and I was thrown into a hospital.

_Good old days, eh?_

HOLY SHIT! STOP!

_You forgot to take your meds…_

_**The preacher issues warnings**_

"We are here," the preacher starts. I sat down, dreaming off a bit. The past caught up with me.

_**History**_

_**Little miss didn't do right**_

_Johnny climbs into bed with me. He starts groaning, "Harsh day?" I whispered to him; he nods back, "I know something that will make it better." _

_He mumbles a bit, "I don't want to." _

_I already had my shirt off. "Johnny…"_

"_Jimmy…" He got out of bed. "I'm going with Whatsername tonight…"_

_**Went and ruined all the true plans**_

_**Such a shame; such a sin.**_

_I went downstairs, finding he was drinking a beer with Whatsername. "Hey, I'll be back," Johnny kisses her on the cheek. He walks over to the phone, talking to Will. Whatsername went into the loft. His beer sat there, staring at me, waiting for me to drug it. _

Why did I rape you? I never met to…I loved you too much.

_He woke up, finding him next to me. "Jimmy, you…you raped me…" _

"_I didn't," I whispered. "I didn't mean to. I need you, Johnny."_

"_I-I'm not mad, just freaked out. I'm sorry that you need me that bad. _

I never meant…

_Are you sure? _

_**Mystery**_

_**Home alone on a school night**_

Somehow I'm back in a white room. If I scream, my mind is sliced open and examined by that bitch. Memories and memories are fluttering through my mind. The voice won't go away. Adam, being an idiot, left those pills there. I grabbed a couple more.

_**Harvest moon over the blue land**_

_**Summer longing on the wind**_

The next day I felt horrible. Somehow, Crystal found out about overdosing. She said I might need ECT; shock treatment. The voice has been fading but coming back. _He's dead thought, _I—for once—thought to myself. The voice…I think it's gone. The remedies did work. "How do you feel," Crystal whispered.

"The voice," I mumbled. "It's gone."

She nods, "How many did you take? The meds?"

"About two more then usually," I forgot the strict amount I take ordinarily.

She looks down. "We'll stop for now," she murmurs, "if he comes back, we'll go to three."

_**Had a sweetheart on his knees**_

_**So faithful and adoring**_

"_Oh Jimmy," He whispers as I got closer. I put my hand behind his back and grab his skinny, sexy ass. He gasps and slapped my hand. I laughed a bit; I grabbed the lube to the side. _

_I place it in his palm of his sweaty hand. He groped it and snickered. "Who you gonna," I said evilly after giving his a hickey, "rub now? My long, sexy hot dog or yours?"_

_He groaned again, "How long has it been since you sucked mine?" _

"_A week or so," I shrugged. "I love to again though." _

_**And he touched me. And I let him love me.**_

_**So let that be my story**_

I can't say more about that night. It was the first time I got Johnny to lose his virginity. Oh ya, the lie to Will, that his twin fucked him. I laughed when he was writing that note. I miss him so god damn much. Finally, though, I'm walking out of this white room. The tears stained the ground. Whatsername is in the lobby, "Ready to start a new life?"

_**Listening**_

_**For the hope, for the new life**_

_**Something beautiful, a new chance**_

_**Hear its whispering**_

_**There again**_

**A/N: Hey guys, you like? Any ideas for a squeal for this one? Leave it in your review! **


End file.
